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“Doctor, will I be able to read with these new glasses?” “Yes, of course.” Patient: “Good, I never could read before.”
Three friends died in a car crash. They all went to Heaven, into registration. So, Saint Peter asked them, “When you are in your casket, friends and family are crying because of your departure. What would you like to hear them say about you?” The first guy said, “I would like to hear them say that I was a great doctor in my time and a great family man.” The second guy said, “I would like to hear that I was a wonderful husband and schoolteacher, who made a huge difference in our children of tomorrow.” […] The third guy said, “I would really like them to say, ‘Look, he’s moving!’”
